Edgar Allan Poe
The Fall of the House of Usher
The Tell-Tale Heart
The Black Cat
The Oval Portrait
The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar
The Bells
The Raven
Annabel Lee
Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Birthmark
Rappaccini's Daughter
Dr. Heidegger's Experiment
The Artist of the Beautiful
ESSAY
We
can make a thematic interconnection between the "The Birthmark" tale by
Nathaniel Hawthorne and the "The Oval Portrait" tale by Edgar Allan Poe,
where we have two artists in their own business, putting their passion
for their work above the love they feel for their wives.
The first point in common between the two tales is the extreme beauty of the women that completely dominates the protagonists what makes them want the women as wives. In "The Birthmark" the scientist Aylmer despite the extreme beauty of his wife Georgiana became bothered with a mark upon her cheek and convinces her to undergo a scientific procedure in order to remove such defect, resulting in the death of his wife. In "The Oval Portrait" the painter marries a beautiful woman and submits her to endless painting sections where he uses her as a paint model of extreme beauty, which also leads her to death.
The psychological side is deeply explored in these two tales, where the obsession leads to a state of stupor where the reach for a goal is the only thing that counts, not caring or perhaps not realizing the harm that it is causing. It also shows the submissiveness of the female figure which is willing to sacrifice herself for her love. And the end of each story shows the desperation of tragedies:
The momentary circumstance was too strong for him; he failed to look beyond the shadowy scope of time, and, living once for all the eternity, to find the perfect future in the present. (The Birthmark).
… he grew tremulous and very pallid, and aghast, and crying with a loud voice, 'This is indeed Life itself!' turned suddenly to regard his beloved:-She was dead! (The Oval Portrait)
FORM REVIEW
The first point in common between the two tales is the extreme beauty of the women that completely dominates the protagonists what makes them want the women as wives. In "The Birthmark" the scientist Aylmer despite the extreme beauty of his wife Georgiana became bothered with a mark upon her cheek and convinces her to undergo a scientific procedure in order to remove such defect, resulting in the death of his wife. In "The Oval Portrait" the painter marries a beautiful woman and submits her to endless painting sections where he uses her as a paint model of extreme beauty, which also leads her to death.
The psychological side is deeply explored in these two tales, where the obsession leads to a state of stupor where the reach for a goal is the only thing that counts, not caring or perhaps not realizing the harm that it is causing. It also shows the submissiveness of the female figure which is willing to sacrifice herself for her love. And the end of each story shows the desperation of tragedies:
The momentary circumstance was too strong for him; he failed to look beyond the shadowy scope of time, and, living once for all the eternity, to find the perfect future in the present. (The Birthmark).
… he grew tremulous and very pallid, and aghast, and crying with a loud voice, 'This is indeed Life itself!' turned suddenly to regard his beloved:-She was dead! (The Oval Portrait)
FORM REVIEW
Student 1 →
While the structure is coherent, there are a number of grammatical
errors, and typos. It initially looked like there were words missing due
perhaps to hasty editing in order to fulfill the word count? But,
further down the essay, the mistakes seemed like genuine ones.
Student 2 →
Some sentences need further editing: "The first point in common between
the two tales is the extreme beauty of the women that completely
dominates the protagonists what makes them want the women as wives." as
well as this one " It also shows the submissiveness of the female figure
which is willing to sacrifice herself for her love"
Student 3 →
Your essay is organized well and arguments flow. One very small thing -
"painting sections" should be "painting sessions", but that's just a
tiny mistake. Also, I would advise against beginning your essay with
"we". Instead you could say "There is a strong thematic interconnection
between...", which just makes the essay sound more formal.
Student 4 →
Focus first on organization. The first paragraph needs to be the
thesis, then the supporting evidence proving the thesis, and finally the
conclusion which restates the thesis. This essay -- presumably about
how Poe and Hawthorne put writing above their wives, goes off in a
variety of directions rather than sticking to the subject.
CONTENT REVIEW
Student 1 → Interesting points noted in the similarities between the two tales.
Student 2 →
I fell that there could be more analytic comparison between the two
pieces. May be going deeper into the comparison of either two male or
female characters.
Student 3 →
I enjoyed the topic of your essay, although I'm not sure I personally
agree completely with your arguments. To play the devil's advocate - it
could be argued that these relationships are not based on love at all,
but on something much more superficial. Perhaps infatuation at the
outset of the relationships, or something of that nature.
Student 4 →
Our goal is to add to the experience of the intelligent and attentive
classmate. In this case, you mostly retell plot points. A bit
disappointing. On the other hand, there's nothing here with which I
disagree. I think this is what a middle-of-the-road essay looks like, re
content.
Nenhum comentário:
Postar um comentário