sexta-feira, 14 de setembro de 2012

A Terra dos Cegos - H. G. Wells

Havia me esquecido de colocar meu essay sobre este conto de Wells. A história é excelente. Mais uma nota 4, sendo 6 a máxima.


The “The Country of the Blind” tale by H. G. Wells, it is really a great master piece of literature, which has many issues to be analyzed. The ideas of the isolation as a limiter and the differences as an assumption for self judgment as a superior been are important issues that Wells develops in this literary work.

In the story the small blind population became isolated from the rest of the world, and the knowledge about that world is lost: Their tradition of the greater world they came from became mythical in colour and uncertain. Besides their visual limitations, which strengthened other senses, the problem was the fact that they did not want to accept another kind of life beyond that one they knew, even with a visitor from outside. Many current dogmas, fanaticisms and even personal pride prevent development and make us blind to much knowledge and many relationships.

When "Bogota" finds himself among the blind, he immediately thinks that he is superior and he gets frustrated when he realizes that he could not be their king. On the other hand the blind judged him inferior by owning a physical defect, in this case, his eyes. Drawing a parallel with modern life, the great cause of major conflicts is in most cases the judgment of superiority of one nation towards another. This happens even on an individual level.

H. G. Wells clearly shows his concern for these issues and gave a gift to the world not only with an excellent literary entertainment, but a text that encourages reflection and change. Should we be satisfied with our own Country of the Blind? Should we rule over others based in our own vision?


Student 1 → Your writing is good, and generally easy to read. You could use a few commas in your work to put in natural breaks, such as in "On the other hand, the blind judged...".
Student 2 → The form and the structure are good.
Student 3 → You have a couple of form errors, the double use of "the" in your first sentence was unnecessary, you could have just started out with "The Country of the Blind..." Also you used been when you meant being. However you showed good use of paragraphs and punctuation. 
Student 4 → fine
Student 5 → I can tell that english is probably your second language, but that being said, your essay still was logical and flowed pretty smoothly. To help make it better, I would recommend reading it out loud so you can catch some of the little errors that might throw a reader. Stuff like "becomes" instead of "become." Your first sentence is basically unnecessary. You state: "it is really a great master piece of literature, which has many issues to be analyzed," and while that may very well be true, I think it would strengthen your essay to take that kind of fluff out and instead dive right into your thesis and your points, especially in a essay with such a limited word count. 
Student 1 → Your ideas are good, but they come through obscurely rather than you saying the idea directly. For example, you talk about things that "make us blind" but that's an inference rather than saying the blindness of the people in the story is a metaphor for our own emotional blindness or similar. Your ideas are good -- be more direct!
Student 2 → Argumentations and examples are very well chosen. The ideas are insightful. Maybe the parallel with the modern world could be extended to the whole history of the humankind?
Student 3 → Your argument was sound and well laid out. In the future you might want to spend less time narrating what went on in the story and more time expanding on your argument. Your first paragraph is not well supported in your piece, you say there are many things to discuss, but do not really discuss the examples given in the first paragraph.
Student 4 → You havent included quotations in order to support your ideas.
Student 5 → I liked how you connected the basis of the story to a broader meaning by not only expanding to thinking about parallels to the world today but also by narrowing in on comparing the individual. 
Student 3 → This was a popular story to write an essay about this week as many of the essays I have read (including my own) were about this story. I think your essay might have been better if you had picked only one or two things to talk about and supported and gone into more depth than listing the many things you noticed about this story.
Student 4 → very well but try to include more bibliography as well :)

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