Little Brother - Cory Doctorow

Nosso incrível curso "Fantasy and Science Fiction: The Human Mind, Our Modern World" terminou, e nosso última leitura foi Little Brother de Cory Doctorow. Foi uma "pauleira" de leituras, análises e video-aulas... muitas e muitas video-aulas. Foi uma experiência interessante que me deixou mais crítico e até exigente com minhas leituras e me mostrou uma maneira de amadurecer minha escrita.

Agora estou no aguardo do meu certificado. Segue meu último essay:

ESSAY

The book Little Brother by Cory Doctorow, in its simplicity and fluidity was succeeded in order to explore deepen some important issues that deserve attention these days, where technology is overlapped making “to have” more important than “to be”.



An interesting theme treated in the pages of this adventure in which Marcus arises, is the courage that can come up when certain principles of human being is put to the test, either by a disaster, in the case of the explosion of the bridge, or some kind of force imposed by someone, where Marcus was withheld to interrogation. Courage is related to an inner determination that passes over anything. Is not the absence of fear but the ability to use it positively. Courage is enhanced when there is unity through friendship. In the case of Marcus, his school friends supported him in various situations, especially those where he was about to leave to fight for their ideas.

The book proposal was achieved in sublime form. If a society wants to keep their moral standards, the courage of its individual members should never be put aside.


FORM REVIEW

peer 1 → The author struggles with sentence structure problems that seem to be semantic as well as grammatical. Examples of semantic problems are "technology overlapped (?)," "Marcus arises," "achieved in sublime form," and others. Grammatical issues included "was succeeded," "explore deepen," and "passes over anything." It has been my pleasure to read many translated essays in this course that demonstrate interesting interpretations of these sci-fi works as well as extreme effort on the part of EFL students attempting to create essays that in English demand a straight line of development by university students that are already fluent in the language. 

peer 2 → I'm so sorry that your form for this essay isn't clear to me at all. In places your thesis (assuming the beginning is the thesis), is random words strung together, for example, "...was succeeded in order to explore deepen some important more important than “to be”", or "...that deserve attention these days, where technology is overlapped making “to have”..." I truly don't know what you are trying to say in this run-on string of words.

peer 3 → Form is good. Nothing to point out really.

peer 4 → Awkward wording throughout the essay especially in the intro paragraph and thesis. Which was confusing.

CONTENT REVIEW

 

peer 1 → The author explores several themes, but does not develop cohesively any one idea. The attempt to point out how courage was defined in the novel is laudable if grossly underdeveloped in this short piece. The essayist also makes an interesting point about technology and its role.

peer 2 → I am interested in your ideas. I wish you had been able to explain them to me. The parts of your essay I think I understand don't appear to explain anything about your perception of the theme that you mention. Maybe if you had finished your essay (it's short by 85-135 words) I would have been able to figure it out. 

peer 3 → Content is good. The reader of this essay find the topic of courage really timely. It is a good read, albeit short.